skinventory®*
HUMAN AD SPACE. CURATED. UNFORTUNATELY.

Every body
has a price.

Everyone’s selling their body to sponsors.
Sponsors need bodies. So I built a directory.

Browse the bodies Yes. Another directory.
Follow me on X @scheemunai

A parody directory. Real posts. No affiliation. No body checkout.

3 HUMANS4 ORIGINAL POSTS0 MIDDLEMEN1 QUESTIONABLE BUSINESS MODEL
THE HUMAN BILLBOARD INDEX

Meet the inventory.

People, not pixels.
Actual pitches. Extremely unserious curation.

3 people in the directory.

THE ORIGINAL PITCH№ 001
Image from Marc Lou’s original HYROX sponsorship video, showing his body ad-placement mockup.IMAGE FROM ORIGINAL POST ↗

Marc Lou

hyrox
@marclou ↗

Muscles. Now with ad slots.

Ten muscles, ten placements. The founder turned his HYROX race into a media kit. The rest of the timeline took notes.

HYROX · Turkey19 SEP 2026
10 muscle spots
$1,000
Original opening bid
Bidding closed per post
See the original pitch
THE DRESS EXPANSION№ 002
Original image from Vanshika’s post showing front and back dress sponsorship placements.IMAGE FROM ORIGINAL POST ↗

Vanshika

crypto
@vanshuETH ↗

A wearable pitch deck.

Thirteen spots on one dress at a crypto event. Finally, something in Web3 with a clearly defined use case.

Crypto event · Singapore07 OCT 2026
13 dress spots
$350
Original opening bid
Check with creator
See the original pitch
THE PARODY OF THE PARODY№ 003
Parody image posted by Jonny Jelinek, recreating the sponsored-dress concept.PARODY IMAGE FROM ORIGINAL POST ↗

Jonny Jelinek

parody
@JonnyJelinek ↗

The expanded universe.

First he remixed the muscle pitch. Then the dress pitch. This is no longer a trend. It’s a franchise.

HYROX + crypto · The remix2 POSTS, 1 VISION
Full-body ambition
$10,000
Dress spot · parody pitch
Parody, obviously
See the original pitch

Prices are from the original posts, not live offers. Event details are creator-stated. We don’t track bids, process payments, or represent anyone.

LISTING № 004 · POSITION UNFILLED

Who’s next?

You have a body. Someone has a marketing budget.
We’re not saying this is your calling. But.

No abs required. Just audacity.
HOW DID WE GET HERE?

The internet did its thing.

One person sells ad space.
Two people make it a trend.
Someone makes a directory.
Hi. I’m someone.

  1. 01

    Marc monetized the muscles.

    A HYROX race became ten startup sponsorship slots.

    8 Sep · The original pitch ↗
  2. 02

    Vanshika took it to crypto.

    Thirteen dress placements. A whole new asset class.

    12 Sep · The dress pitch ↗
  3. 03

    Jonny made it a cinematic universe.

    He remixed Marc’s pitch on the 10th, then Vanshika’s on the 13th. The lore is not chronological. The ambition is.

    10 Sep · Muscle remix ↗13 Sep · Dress remix ↗
  4. 04

    And I built a directory.

    Because apparently that’s what we do now.

    You are here. Sorry.
Is this a real sponsorship marketplace?

No. This is a parody directory of public sponsorship pitches. There’s no checkout, brokerage, endorsement, or verified live inventory. Use each original post to contact its creator directly. The joke is about the internet turning everything into ad inventory, not anyone’s body.

Can I actually get listed?

The “Make my pitch” button helps you draft a public X post with #Skinventory. You decide whether to publish it. It’s not an application form, and posting does not automatically add you to the directory. Listings are manually curated.

Do you collect my data?

No analytics, advertising cookies, or form storage are built into this site. Pitch fields stay in your browser until you choose to open an X draft. X and your hosting provider have their own data and access-log practices. This site does not handle payments.

LISTING № 001 · SOURCE NOTES

Marc Lou

Marc’s September 8 post offered ten muscle placements for his first HYROX race in Turkey. The pitch included race-day logo tattoos, a website listing, and coverage on his channels. Opening bids were $1,000; a takeover doubled the price. His stated bidding deadline was September 10, 2026. This is a record of the pitch, not a current availability claim.

Finally, a founder with actual skin in the game.
Read the original pitch ↗8 Sep 2026

Original deadline: 10 Sep 2026. Not a live offer. We are not affiliated with Marc Lou.
LISTING № 002 · SOURCE NOTES

Vanshika

Vanshika’s September 12 post offered thirteen dress placements for a crypto event in Singapore on October 7. Her pitch included printed logos, a website listing, and an X post. Opening bids started at $350 and doubled with each takeover. Her stated deadline was September 15, 2026. Prices and availability need to be confirmed with her; we do not track the auction.

Proof of wear. No wallet connection required here.
Read the original pitch ↗12 Sep 2026

Post says bidding ends 15 Sep 2026. Not live inventory. We are not affiliated with Vanshika.
LISTING № 003 · SOURCE NOTES

Jonny Jelinek

Jonny’s September 10 HYROX remix pitched a $100,000 belly placement and a $1 million full-body option. His September 13 dress remix pitched $10,000 per spot and repeated the $1 million full-body idea. The numbers here come from the post text, not the prices printed in the parody image. We’re cataloguing the joke, not verifying an offer, payment, or event attendance.

Why find product-market fit when you can find logo-body fit?
Read the dress remix ↗13 Sep 2026Read the HYROX remix ↗10 Sep 2026
Jonny’s original HYROX parody image.

The earlier HYROX remix. Image as posted by Jonny; parody, not verified inventory.

Also pitched $1M for the full body. Yes, really. As a joke. We are not affiliated with Jonny Jelinek.
WELCOME TO THE ATTENTION ECONOMY

Put yourself
on the market.

The ad market. To be very clear.

YOUR EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL PITCH

Nothing is posted automatically. This opens X with a draft for you to review. No data is stored here; no listing is created.

Pass the directory.

Copy this link and send it to someone with a marketing budget. Or a body.

Select and copy the link above.